it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
soo... how was my night?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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