hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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