Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
