Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
