i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
