I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
