Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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