How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
