Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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