Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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