I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
