that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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