What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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