Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
