it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
