are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
