physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
