I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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