Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
