We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
