so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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