i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
