we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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