paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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