that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
