so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
