I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
