also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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