i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
