I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
