Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
