she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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