just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
