North Korea, Best Korea!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize