I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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