WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
