I wish I could teleport
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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