East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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