"it" just moved
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
