ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
