my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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