Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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