you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
