wanna go halves on a baby?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I think I just sharted jello shots
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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