Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
