god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
