Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
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