I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
