i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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