I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
