Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He passed out mid-signature
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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