now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
you had me at cake vodka
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
