they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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